Holy shit hello there. I disappeared for a month down to the day. I didn't really mean to, it's just April was a chaos-filled nightmare and now suddenly May has arrived.

Yeah I'll be honest, April was a really awful month. I kinda don't even wanna reflect on it because thinking about it makes me extremely upset so I won't. Maybe I will at another time. Let's just say I had a lot of small, but genuinely traumatizing things happen in quick succession. I'm ok, I'm safe and the tape-recorder in my head has at least slowed down. Hasn't stopped persay, but I'm not thinking about it as much.

Anyways, I wanna talk about more positive things. I got a gig to be a synthesizer player and a music director for someone's thesis play! It's been super fun, I'll actually be paid pretty decently, and the first show is tomorrow! I kid you not I've been freaking out about job opportunities, and this is at least a step into a direction. I have some people I'm gonna talk to over the summer to see about maybe doing more music directing stuff, as I plan to be here in the summer to work on my thesis. In the meantime, I got approved to be a petsitter on one of those petsitting apps, once the dust settles with this I'm gonna advertise my profile like crazy and hope I can make some cash over the summer while I still look for more consistent work.

Finals are mainly over. I have a class I'm behind on work for, but I don't have any in-person finals and everything else is due the last day of class so that's good. I'm honestly gonna cheese it because I'm tired and don't care anymore. Also the professor grades not harshly at all.

I've been kinda talking to my friends here in school again? They still annoy me though if I'm gonna be honest. Things with my "special friend" are still good. I feel like after the summer is over we're either going to be more officially dating or we will end up separating. I say this because she's not going to be in the city for the summer and home for her is on the other side of the country. I don't have the energy to stress about it. I am going to bring it up next time we see each other, as scary as it's gonna be.

I don't really wanna be home (the environment is not the best at the moment) but I do hope I can go up to visit semi-periodically. Mainly so I can see my pets again and actually be outside in nature again. I really need that right now.